30.3.04
My shrink today told me that he thinks that I am a very serious person. I don't think of myself as a serious person. Serious people go on protest marches and become vegetarian for ethical reasons. What I'm not very good at is fun. This links into the kind of relationship I'm looking for. Part of me is looking for a long term relationship. Whemn I was seeing V, I defintely wasn't ready to settle down and have children. I feel more ready now three years later, but I'm still not sure it's what I want. Part of me would like to have a fling. Part of me would like to have several flings one after another with classy older women like M and S. The problem is that it is difficult to say to a woman that I just want to have a fling. But if I was more and flirtier (I did go on Peta Heskell flirting course a couple of years ago, but I've a long, long way to go), I might have more chance of success in this particular area.
I've signed up for Blues Match. Sent my first email this evening. I've also signed up for a couple more Single Solution events (still hoping to repeat my "success" with S last year). I hope my friend A can join me if she's back from the Antipodes. Got a response to an L&F wink. Chatted on IM with my ex, A. But didn't make any progress with my novel!
I've signed up for Blues Match. Sent my first email this evening. I've also signed up for a couple more Single Solution events (still hoping to repeat my "success" with S last year). I hope my friend A can join me if she's back from the Antipodes. Got a response to an L&F wink. Chatted on IM with my ex, A. But didn't make any progress with my novel!
28.3.04
Fitness Fanatic
I've been hitting the gym fairly heavily in the last couple of weeks. I can already feel things starting to firm up, which is reassuring, but obviously it will take many months to really get where I want to be. I hope that by the time I start my MBA in the autumn, I will be back where I was in five years ago.
I had forgotten just how addictive exercise can be. All those endorphins that are realised. I should have done this months ago. The gym is in my apartment complex. It's got most the equipment you would want. I'm 48 minutes of cardiovascular (12 minutes each on the running, skiing, steeping and cycling machines). Resistance training is more problematic. There is a multigym with lots of different options. The difficulty is that I only know how to use a couple of them. I discovered a new this afternoon (leg curls) by observing someone else doing it. I should make an appointment with a trainer to show me how to use all of the different options. It would definitely be worth the £30 or £40 it would cost me.
The main disadvantage over a proper gym is the lack of totty. There were a couple of women in there today, which was nice (of course, I'm too introverted to ever dream of striking up a conversation with anyone), but often I'm on my own. In a proper gym, you see the same people at the time and get to know their schedules. That's a definite plus, but not worth £100/month at the moment, I'm afraid.
I've been hitting the gym fairly heavily in the last couple of weeks. I can already feel things starting to firm up, which is reassuring, but obviously it will take many months to really get where I want to be. I hope that by the time I start my MBA in the autumn, I will be back where I was in five years ago.
I had forgotten just how addictive exercise can be. All those endorphins that are realised. I should have done this months ago. The gym is in my apartment complex. It's got most the equipment you would want. I'm 48 minutes of cardiovascular (12 minutes each on the running, skiing, steeping and cycling machines). Resistance training is more problematic. There is a multigym with lots of different options. The difficulty is that I only know how to use a couple of them. I discovered a new this afternoon (leg curls) by observing someone else doing it. I should make an appointment with a trainer to show me how to use all of the different options. It would definitely be worth the £30 or £40 it would cost me.
The main disadvantage over a proper gym is the lack of totty. There were a couple of women in there today, which was nice (of course, I'm too introverted to ever dream of striking up a conversation with anyone), but often I'm on my own. In a proper gym, you see the same people at the time and get to know their schedules. That's a definite plus, but not worth £100/month at the moment, I'm afraid.
My Dinner with Andre
Actually, my date with E (the names have been changed to protect the innocent). I went to Waterstone's beforehand and depressed myself by looking at the dating books. Julia Bruni did tell me that being late for the date is an absolute no-no for the man. So, after picking up a copies of the London Review of Books (for the personals; I haven't got time to read both it and the New York Review), Headpress and The Ern Malley Affair (back in print after 10 years; I remember not winning a copy many years ago in a PSFG raffle at the Church Street Tavern)., I headed off to the Royal Academy. We had arranged to meet in the lobby of the RA. E is a member, i.e. a Friend rather than an Academician. We managed to meet with too much incident (I was phoning her when she approached me; I had spotted her earlier, but I find it difficult to approach potential candidates for my date given the possibility of embarrasment, and it wasn't as though the lobby of the RA was quite and there weren't people waiting for people). We went to see the Philip Guston exhibition. I liked his earlier stuff from the 30s and WWII. He was a very fine representative painter and reminded me strongly of one of my favourites, Stanley Spencer. Unfortunately, he fell under the influence of abstract expressionism. His works from the 50s are dull daubs. In the 60s and 70s, he turned to a deliberately naive, cartoony style, which didn't really do it for me. But at least I got in the exhibition for free.
Afterwards, we went to The Avenue for a drink. I was tempted by the English pinot noir, the most expensive wine by the glass on the list, but went for a St Emillion in the end. Very pleasant. E had an Australian Riesling. She wasn't bad looking in a slightly podgy sort of way. She is indeed Polish as I had thought, but, somewhat improbably, did her bachelor's and master's degrees in economics and international relationships at Johns Hopkins. She works in the City (Canary Wharf) as a bonds trader specialising in Eastern European fixed income products. We had a reasonably pleasant conversation. I suggested a second glass of wine, but she declined. Apparently, she usually flakes out on Friday evening as she starts work at 07:30(!). The problem is that she is way out of my league. Not in terms of looks; in both the RA and The Avenue, we were surrounded by woman who looked like extras from Sex and the City (why is it that when you go out with a woman, you always see lots of women who are better looking than your date?), but in terms of aspirations and lifestyle. She asked me if I had a wine cellar. Well, I do have a wine rack. Apparently, she has a cellar or, rather, her wine is cellared for her at a wine merchants. She lives in a flat in South Kensington. Until her bank moved to Canary Wharf, she only had a Zones 1 Travelcard. I was sitting there in the bar of The Avenue in my Paul Smith suit, Paul Smith shirt, Paul Smith tie, Paul Smith shoes, Calvin Klein hipster briefs, let down only buy my Next socks (but they are the lucky ones with hearts that I like)., but the thing was I may have looked the part, but I was a visitor to that world, just passing through, while she belonged here in St James's.
Afterwards, she suggested meeting up again for a drink. It's a possibility, but I can't really see it going anywhere. We're just too different as people. She got a taxi home, probably so to avoid the awkwardness of having to get the tube with me. The thing is the cost of taxis adds up! I was quite glad that she had got a taxi. Where was the nearest Tesco Metro? I wondered. I hadn't got anything in the freezer that I fancied eating. Oh for location-based services! But by a stroke of luck, there is now an M&S Simply Food next to Green Park tube, where the Smart garage used to be (the Mercedes garage is now a SAAB one). I bought a chilli wedges and a rather nice bottle of Australian Cabernet Merlot (I definitely needed another drink).
Overall, I'd say 6.5-7/10 as an reintroduction to the world of dating. E seemed a perfectly pleasant person. I'm just not sure she is quite what I'm looking for. Well, height-wise, yes, she is. I do prefer petite women. I just don't think we have enough in common. I might give her a text. But dating is a number games. I just wish there was some way of biasing the odds more in my favour. Still, a gentle way back into dating. You've got to be the game to win.
Actually, my date with E (the names have been changed to protect the innocent). I went to Waterstone's beforehand and depressed myself by looking at the dating books. Julia Bruni did tell me that being late for the date is an absolute no-no for the man. So, after picking up a copies of the London Review of Books (for the personals; I haven't got time to read both it and the New York Review), Headpress and The Ern Malley Affair (back in print after 10 years; I remember not winning a copy many years ago in a PSFG raffle at the Church Street Tavern)., I headed off to the Royal Academy. We had arranged to meet in the lobby of the RA. E is a member, i.e. a Friend rather than an Academician. We managed to meet with too much incident (I was phoning her when she approached me; I had spotted her earlier, but I find it difficult to approach potential candidates for my date given the possibility of embarrasment, and it wasn't as though the lobby of the RA was quite and there weren't people waiting for people). We went to see the Philip Guston exhibition. I liked his earlier stuff from the 30s and WWII. He was a very fine representative painter and reminded me strongly of one of my favourites, Stanley Spencer. Unfortunately, he fell under the influence of abstract expressionism. His works from the 50s are dull daubs. In the 60s and 70s, he turned to a deliberately naive, cartoony style, which didn't really do it for me. But at least I got in the exhibition for free.
Afterwards, we went to The Avenue for a drink. I was tempted by the English pinot noir, the most expensive wine by the glass on the list, but went for a St Emillion in the end. Very pleasant. E had an Australian Riesling. She wasn't bad looking in a slightly podgy sort of way. She is indeed Polish as I had thought, but, somewhat improbably, did her bachelor's and master's degrees in economics and international relationships at Johns Hopkins. She works in the City (Canary Wharf) as a bonds trader specialising in Eastern European fixed income products. We had a reasonably pleasant conversation. I suggested a second glass of wine, but she declined. Apparently, she usually flakes out on Friday evening as she starts work at 07:30(!). The problem is that she is way out of my league. Not in terms of looks; in both the RA and The Avenue, we were surrounded by woman who looked like extras from Sex and the City (why is it that when you go out with a woman, you always see lots of women who are better looking than your date?), but in terms of aspirations and lifestyle. She asked me if I had a wine cellar. Well, I do have a wine rack. Apparently, she has a cellar or, rather, her wine is cellared for her at a wine merchants. She lives in a flat in South Kensington. Until her bank moved to Canary Wharf, she only had a Zones 1 Travelcard. I was sitting there in the bar of The Avenue in my Paul Smith suit, Paul Smith shirt, Paul Smith tie, Paul Smith shoes, Calvin Klein hipster briefs, let down only buy my Next socks (but they are the lucky ones with hearts that I like)., but the thing was I may have looked the part, but I was a visitor to that world, just passing through, while she belonged here in St James's.
Afterwards, she suggested meeting up again for a drink. It's a possibility, but I can't really see it going anywhere. We're just too different as people. She got a taxi home, probably so to avoid the awkwardness of having to get the tube with me. The thing is the cost of taxis adds up! I was quite glad that she had got a taxi. Where was the nearest Tesco Metro? I wondered. I hadn't got anything in the freezer that I fancied eating. Oh for location-based services! But by a stroke of luck, there is now an M&S Simply Food next to Green Park tube, where the Smart garage used to be (the Mercedes garage is now a SAAB one). I bought a chilli wedges and a rather nice bottle of Australian Cabernet Merlot (I definitely needed another drink).
Overall, I'd say 6.5-7/10 as an reintroduction to the world of dating. E seemed a perfectly pleasant person. I'm just not sure she is quite what I'm looking for. Well, height-wise, yes, she is. I do prefer petite women. I just don't think we have enough in common. I might give her a text. But dating is a number games. I just wish there was some way of biasing the odds more in my favour. Still, a gentle way back into dating. You've got to be the game to win.
