Between Girlfriends

Me Again

2005-01-04T22:40:00.000Z

Back again. If fact, I've been in this state now for a couple of months. Since I got dumped. After the fireworks in Ravenscourt Park on 6 November. In a French bistro in Chiswick.

It happens. Being dumped. Twice in one year. It's becoming a habit. But it was for the better.

I've had a look at L&F a few times since then. No-one really jumps out. I do feel a bit emotionally exhausted at the moment. It wasn't that my last relationship was particularly a rollercoaster, but I do feel flat in the emotional arena at the moment. I don't want to go on dates at the moment, particularly. I don't feel ready or up to it. Anyay, the truth is that I won't be doing any dating until I've lost at least 15 kg. About June, I hope.

Location, Relocation

2004-07-05T23:10:00.000+01:00

I've said it before and no doubt I'll say it again Kirstie Allsopp is a mighty fine looking woman. She looks a little bit like my ex, V. She even dresses a little bit like V. As someone wisely said somewhere on the web, she'd make a fine wife. Whereas Sarah Beeny isn't the wife type. Well, I agree that Kirstie is more the wife type. Now, R is probably the best looking woman I've been out with. She had some photographs of her taken by a professional photographer and she looks very glamorous. I just wish she'd dress more like Kirstie or V on the outside. I like that look. I can't complain about the inside. She gives Sarah a run for her money in the bosom department. But I'm not sure she's the marrying type. But am I?

Going Steady?

2004-07-02T10:26:00.000+01:00

Date #5 with R tonight. A romantic dinner at Cotto. Are we going steady? Are we officially an item? Am I no longer "Between Girlfriends"? Well, we are both on hold at L&F. But I will wait until things have got jiggly before I commit myself.

Date Fest

2004-06-13T22:56:00.000+01:00

It's been a veritable date fest for me over the last few days. I had a date with J at Chez Gerard in Dover Street on Tuesday. We had chateaubriand, which was good because I've never had before. A pleasant evening, but I'm not sure how much chemistry there really was between us, but I suggested that she drop me a line if she wanted to go again. I was a bit surprised that she did drop me a line. So, we going to the ballet on Tuesday. Should be interesting. Went on a date with R from DDM on Wednesday at The Cumberland Arms. Again top class food (italian sausages), good conversation, but va-va-voom, not helped by the fact that she's got an injured hand at the moment (men can be as shallow as women about these things). Definitely one for my gastropub list and the 391 stops outside it.

Last night's date with (a different) R was a cracker, a real 8.5/10. I do hope we manage to go on another date. We said she wanted to take things slowly, fair enough, but that could be a euphemism for forget it although I did get a non-commital email from her this morning. The truth is that she is too New Age-y for me, so like any of these things it would be better not to get started. But there was, I think, a genuine spark. I was on good form and that doesn't happen often.

Today was M in a pub in Surrey. The thing is that she was splitting image of my mum, which was a bit worrying. Perhaps that I was why I was subconsciously attracted to her at Monte's. But her face shape was almost identical to my mum's, which was spooky. But she spends every weekend going to dog agility trials in a caravan. Not for me.

Well, my second date with J on Tuesday and a date with E on Wednesday. But the woman I really want to date is S and she's in Frankfurt and the chance of us ever meeting probably isn't that great.

Dating by Numbers

2004-05-29T00:31:00.000+01:00

Went on my date with S. It was actually quite a good date in some ways. But she's a demi-vegetarian. Even if she was interested in me, that would rule her out, even given that she did drink red wine (she's at the end of a course of antibiotics). I fear also that she may be an ex-smoker. As a fanatical anti-smoker (and why not?), I only go out with similarly minded women. But it was quite a fun date as far as it went. That was just not that far. Better luck tomorrow, I hope (and doubt).

I do long to find the One. Sorry. But I do miss A, and, truth be told, for what it's worth, V even more. I don't want to go on dates. I want a girlfriend. An All-Purpose V&A Replacement.

Now, had they genuinely wanted to make it hard the BB producers, they should have banned alcohol.

Just started my G&B Easter egg. Very fine. Indeed.

BtW, have you noticed that in the new Lux, the woman who gets out of the taxi is much better-looking than Sarah-Jessica Parker? The thing is I've never fancied SJP. It's not helped by the fact that she's at the fags like a chimney in most episode (I know she fairly much give it up for several seasons); I just don't like her look that much (at all). I was always a Charolette/Miranda fan. They're the guides of women I wish to date. If I van . It may emerge as, for sake of agument,

Clued Up

2004-05-26T22:52:00.000+01:00

Alicia Silverstone on Miss Match is pretty damned hot. I do find the idea that she is somehow overweight utterly absurd. Pity she's a vegan. I couldn't date vegan. Even if she look like Alicia. And Fiona Bruce looks pretty damned hot in her glasses. I've always had a think about women in glasses.

Alone Again, Naturally

2004-05-18T19:55:00.000+01:00

Went on a date this evening. Since it's barely even 8 o'clock yet, you can tell that it was a complete waste of time. I hate short dates. I dashed back from Bracknell, showered, changed and the date lasts less than 40 minutes. Not good. And it wasn't as though she wasn't in her way quite attractive. But she said "I don't suppose we'll meet again." And she's right; I don't suppose we will. Short dates are fine if you've other things to do, but if you're a sad sack like me, they're just an occasion for anti-climax. I feel faintly soiled now. 2.5 out of 10, I'd say.

Never mind (but, yes, it does matter). Hoping to grab a burger at the Gourmet Burger Kitchen in Chiswick tomorrow.

Time Passes

2004-05-12T23:01:00.000+01:00

It's been nearly a fortnight since my last post (before today). Where does the time go? I could do with an extra three or four hours a day.

Went to see "Van Helsing" at the weekend. Kate Beckinsale was pretty hot. Pity she was probably wearing a wig or hair extensions. I remember reading a critic once who said he had had a real thing for Jennifer Ehle in Pride and Prejudice and had been gutted to discover that she is really a blonde!

Saw A in the canteen today. Hadn't seen for ages. She's still got her slightly shorter hair style, which doesn't suit her as well as a longer bob, but she's was damned hot all the same. Why do all the good ones end up leaving the office? I suppose we'll probably get G in our office soon, which would be good.

Requirements Capture

2004-05-12T22:59:00.000+01:00

Ten requirements for a new girlfriend

1. Brunette or redhead. And as natural a shade as possible
2. Bob or longer. Only relatively few women have the right shape of face and head to really suit short hair
3. Petite. Well, 5'6" or under. I'm not a tall man
4. Makes a similar level of effort in terms of fashion as me. I do have a Margaret Howell shirt
5. 34D or bigger and a particular penchant for Agent Provocateur and Myla underwear
6. A liking for a medium rare steak with triple cooked chips
7. Red wine. And champagne. Of course.
8. Left of Tony Blair. Not hard I know
9. An upper second class degree or better in a proper subject from a real university
10. No pets larger than a goldfish. I like cats, but I don't want my life to revolve around one (or two. Or more)

If only, if only...

I Love My Geek

2004-04-30T23:58:00.000+01:00

One reason why I need a girlfriend is so that I can buy her an "I Love My Geek" babydoll t-shirt from thinkgeek.com. I thought about buying A one. She was a jeans and t-shirt girl. But the thing is I didn't think she would necessarily like the slogan. Difficulties with the l-word or even heart symol. The thing is that I think V would have liked the slogan. And she also had the physique to take advantage of a babydoll tee. I bought A a Massachusetts Bay Colony Institute of Technologickal Arts t-shirt instead (and one for myself - heh, they do a The Confusion t-shirt too). Check out the customer action shots. Pictures of hot geek chicks! (Well, most of them are pretty hot.) Now, why can't I find myself a hot geek chick? Well, I'm 36 and most geek chicks are probably in their mid-20s or younger. Now, I'd be happy to go out with a 26 year old, but would a 26 year old go out with me? There not that easy to meet. Furthemore, there aren't that many geek girls. And UK geek girls are probably less glamorous than US geek girls because of differences in the dating cultures. But still you never know. And yes, I do want an All-Purpose V Replacement rather than an All-Purpose A Replacement.

Fiona Bruce, Anyone?

2004-04-28T22:50:00.000+01:00

Fiona Bruce was looking pretty damned hot on Crimewatch UK tonight. Longer hair definitely suits her (true for most women). I never really fancied Jill Dando, I have to admit. She was good-looking, but she just didn't do it for me. Unlike Mary Rhodes. Who does do it for me. Now, why I can't meet women like that at Single Solution events?

Dating for Dummies

2004-04-25T14:29:00.000+01:00

My date with S went about as well as could be reasonably expected, I think. I'll get to see her again on Tuesday at the Single Solution event. After that, I hope to get abother one-on-one date with her. We'll see.

Do feel rather depressed at the moment. Perhaps a visit to the gym will cheer me up. I need something. One thing that struck me at Sainsbury's today was just how hard it is to get a relationship going. All that uncertainty and faffing around at the start. Not good (maybe necessary, but neither good nor fun).

Well, S is definitely still a prospect (I've given up on F) and there's always a chance of meeting someone who looks like the Yakult advert woman at the SS event. I can hope. But I need to cheer myself up.

2004-04-24T10:13:00.000+01:00

Off on my hot, hot, HOT!!! date with S this evening at the Yo! in Poland Street. I always hope to find a Yo! that has the robot drinks waiter. The Poland Street one is supposed to have a robot, but there was no sign of it the only time I've been there before.

Off to The Refinery beforehand for my usual. I'm also going to pick up my Margaret Howell shirt that I ordered and I hope that Paul Smith tie I liked at Selfridge's, but I fear it may have been a figment of my imagination.

Felt very depresed for the last couple of days at work, not too bad this morning, which is good. The feelings of depression might be a combination of reducing my medication and the fact that work at the moment is almost indescribable dull. I learnt on Thursday that another of my colleagues has resigned. It's like a ghost town. At this rate, I'll be the last person left when I leavee to do my MBA. Talkng of which, my formal offer came yesterday. Must sent my £1000 cheque back this weekend. Gulp! What the heck am I letting myself in for?

I should write something about my date with C. She was a traveller and I'm not. She's also come out of a five year relationship fairly recently. She was attractive, probably too attractive for me, I fear. She was the kind of person who has friends, whereas I am not. I just don't think we'd be likely to be cpmpatible, so I don't think I'll bother calling her when she gets back from Iceland. She's probably a skier too.

Still no response from F after Tuesday, so I think that's a dead cause. Pity. I've got to learn to flirtier and sexier. I fear I will let myself down tonight with S as so often.

Back Again

2004-04-21T18:49:00.000+01:00

Finally, got back to London on Monday after an enforced extended stay in the North because of a nasty stomach/kidney bowel infection. This forced the postponement of my hot date with S, but it's rearranged for next Saturday. Pleasant date with F yesterday. Definitely like to see her again. Texted her last night. Over-eager? Possibly. It's so difficult to know what to do. You can never be certain that some action you take that you think is perfectly harmless won't be interpreted by the other person in way that rules you with them as dating material.

Off to Clapham Junction, now for a date with C. Her picture reminds a lot of S, which is not a bad thing at all. Nightmare drive home tonight (80+ minutes; rubberneckers). I am actually in a fairly foul mood. Wjich is not good. So, we'll see.

Another Day, Another Date

2004-04-10T14:53:00.000+01:00

Went on a date last night with T. I had suggested we go to The Archduke, but when I got there I discovered (as I had feared) that it was closing early (at 19:00), it being Good Friday, so went to All Bar One, which was reasonably quiet, although we managed to miss the kitchen. Never mind, I had sausages and wedges in beans when I got home, which did the trick. It was an enjoyable date, but more of a friendship date than a romantic date I'd say. By a strange coincidence, we bumped into one of her friends, who is a TV presenter for Angia TV. I've had a look on Google and think I know which one she is, although she has short hair now. Certainly, she wasn't a challenge for Kate Sanderson, who I saw in the Anglesea Arms once. I can't believe she's getting married to PY Gerbeau. He's a bit of a lardarse, isn't he? And I'd always assumed he was gay. Perhaps he is and the marriage is a sham and KS is a sapphist. Better go and lie down. But she could have me! Me, me, I tell you, me! She was drinking wine and not smoking. And she went to Cambridge. My perfect woman. I also saw Sophie Raworth in the AA once, althoughI was with A and had by back to the table she was sitting at. All the celebs go there, dahling (it's handy for the BBC). Definitely, more exciting than Tony Howard. Not that I don't admire his cogent political analysis.

Anyway... bought a pair of Diesel jeans and a classic white T from Gap. Changed my shirt at Paul Smith to one that will fit me. I need a new jacket. As they say, if yo want to be something, dress the part. Bought a copy of Reading Sexand the City to discover when I got home that one of my L&F prospectives is reading it at the moment! What a coincidence. I hope she isn't put off. In fact, I hope the opposite, but women's (and men's!) minds move in strange ways at times. Also bought a copy of How to Pull Girls. (By another amazing coincidence, the random Amazon page on the IE drop down page list I clicked on was the right one. OK, not really amazing.) I need all the tips I can get. Also bought Snapshots from Hell: Making of an MBA . I need all the tips I can get on b-school. And, yes, I have thought about writing a book about it. If I was going to LBS maybe. But I'm too old, my story neither left field enough to be interesting or mainstream enough to be easily related to and Imperial too fatr down the b-school pecking order. But I can and will blog and intend to apply to a b-school journal writer for Business Week. But the above caveats apply.

Got to dash back to the wilds of the North now. Normal service will be resumed in a week.

Definitely Insolvent

2004-04-07T22:46:00.000+01:00

Went to a The Single Solution event last night at Monte's in Knightsbridge. I hadn't been to an SS event since last year as I was going out with A. This event was for 30s-40s professional. Some of the men, it has to be said, where, in my estimation, the wrong side of 60. It goes to show that people do lie about their ages. I'd never do that myself. Nevertheless, there were quite a few catractive women there, a number of whom definitely could be classified as Classy Older Women (one particularly nice one, a blonde bank manager). The problem with these kinds of things for me is that I have no idea how to flirt, no idea whether or not someone is attracted to me and feel terribly inhibited in general. I've got to learn these things and this is the environment to do it in, I suppose. I've already signed up for another two SS events. Maybe I'll meet someone like S at the next one. Now, she was definitely a Classy Older Woman. Mustn't forget my business cards. Or drink as much. Bit of a hangover this morning. Did I have fun? I'm not sure fun is the right word. But next time, I've got to try and get at least one date out of the event. I shall set that as my goal. At least, I'm having more luck with L&F at the moment and also got a profile from DDM from someone who reminds of one of my exs, S. And that's not a bad thing to be reminded of.

Back to School?

2004-04-05T17:56:00.000+01:00

Went for my interview at Imperial College for the full-time MBA. I thought it went fairly positively and my interviewer made positive noises. Wjen I got home, I found an email from the MBA recruitment officer telling me "unofficially and informally" that they were going to recommend that I be offered a place. Which was nice. I hadn't met the admissions officer before thoughI had spoken to her on the phone. Mid-20s, shoulder length auburn hair. Definitely my type. Of course, if I was American I would have asked her out (leaving aside ethical concerns). Of course, I'm not and she probably has a boyfriend. My interviewer would probably scrub up alright. She could be a Classy Older Woman (sorry about the inevitable acronym; I promise not to use it). But again ethics come into it. She wasn't wearing a wedding ring and I do wonder from the title of one of her papers if her bread is buttered on the other side.

The new Tanaka Business School building is interesting. The lecture room are inside a metal cylinder. Unfortunately, the corrugations in the cylinder create an unfortunate vertiguous effect when you look at them. I suspect that they will have to cover them up with tapestries or something. Still, by the time, I start my MBA on 2 October (yes, I am counting the days), they will have sorted out the teething problems associated with the building. After all, they only moved in last week.

Ordered a shirt from Margaret Howell. Bought a shirt from Paul Smith to wear tomorrow. They didn't have the tie in the PS shop in Covent Garden that I had liked in the PS concession in Selfridge's. Never mind. I'll have to go back and get it. I did get some socks and underwear and a pair of cufflinks as well from the PS shop.

It seems that fishnet tights are in vogue this spring. I'm not saying I'm complaining.

Saw Tony Howard on Green Park tube station. He was coming off the westbound Piccadilly Line platform.

The Refinery has just been on the Six O'Clock News. Business is up 40% on the year. Well, I don't have a bonus to look forward to at the end of the month, but I'm going to have make sure that I have enough money to carry on going through my MBA. No self-respecting metrosexual can afford to be without his footicals.

Off down the grooming bay now... I mean the gym. I've off to the Single Solution tomorrow night and I've got to look as buff as possible. I should pretty sharp in my new gear.

Better start swotting up now!

2004-03-30T22:43:00.000+01:00

My shrink today told me that he thinks that I am a very serious person. I don't think of myself as a serious person. Serious people go on protest marches and become vegetarian for ethical reasons. What I'm not very good at is fun. This links into the kind of relationship I'm looking for. Part of me is looking for a long term relationship. Whemn I was seeing V, I defintely wasn't ready to settle down and have children. I feel more ready now three years later, but I'm still not sure it's what I want. Part of me would like to have a fling. Part of me would like to have several flings one after another with classy older women like M and S. The problem is that it is difficult to say to a woman that I just want to have a fling. But if I was more and flirtier (I did go on Peta Heskell flirting course a couple of years ago, but I've a long, long way to go), I might have more chance of success in this particular area.

I've signed up for Blues Match. Sent my first email this evening. I've also signed up for a couple more Single Solution events (still hoping to repeat my "success" with S last year). I hope my friend A can join me if she's back from the Antipodes. Got a response to an L&F wink. Chatted on IM with my ex, A. But didn't make any progress with my novel!

2004-03-28T20:36:00.000+01:00

Fitness Fanatic

I've been hitting the gym fairly heavily in the last couple of weeks. I can already feel things starting to firm up, which is reassuring, but obviously it will take many months to really get where I want to be. I hope that by the time I start my MBA in the autumn, I will be back where I was in five years ago.

I had forgotten just how addictive exercise can be. All those endorphins that are realised. I should have done this months ago. The gym is in my apartment complex. It's got most the equipment you would want. I'm 48 minutes of cardiovascular (12 minutes each on the running, skiing, steeping and cycling machines). Resistance training is more problematic. There is a multigym with lots of different options. The difficulty is that I only know how to use a couple of them. I discovered a new this afternoon (leg curls) by observing someone else doing it. I should make an appointment with a trainer to show me how to use all of the different options. It would definitely be worth the £30 or £40 it would cost me.

The main disadvantage over a proper gym is the lack of totty. There were a couple of women in there today, which was nice (of course, I'm too introverted to ever dream of striking up a conversation with anyone), but often I'm on my own. In a proper gym, you see the same people at the time and get to know their schedules. That's a definite plus, but not worth £100/month at the moment, I'm afraid.

2004-03-28T19:22:00.000+01:00

My Dinner with Andre

Actually, my date with E (the names have been changed to protect the innocent). I went to Waterstone's beforehand and depressed myself by looking at the dating books. Julia Bruni did tell me that being late for the date is an absolute no-no for the man. So, after picking up a copies of the London Review of Books (for the personals; I haven't got time to read both it and the New York Review), Headpress and The Ern Malley Affair (back in print after 10 years; I remember not winning a copy many years ago in a PSFG raffle at the Church Street Tavern)., I headed off to the Royal Academy. We had arranged to meet in the lobby of the RA. E is a member, i.e. a Friend rather than an Academician. We managed to meet with too much incident (I was phoning her when she approached me; I had spotted her earlier, but I find it difficult to approach potential candidates for my date given the possibility of embarrasment, and it wasn't as though the lobby of the RA was quite and there weren't people waiting for people). We went to see the Philip Guston exhibition. I liked his earlier stuff from the 30s and WWII. He was a very fine representative painter and reminded me strongly of one of my favourites, Stanley Spencer. Unfortunately, he fell under the influence of abstract expressionism. His works from the 50s are dull daubs. In the 60s and 70s, he turned to a deliberately naive, cartoony style, which didn't really do it for me. But at least I got in the exhibition for free.

Afterwards, we went to The Avenue for a drink. I was tempted by the English pinot noir, the most expensive wine by the glass on the list, but went for a St Emillion in the end. Very pleasant. E had an Australian Riesling. She wasn't bad looking in a slightly podgy sort of way. She is indeed Polish as I had thought, but, somewhat improbably, did her bachelor's and master's degrees in economics and international relationships at Johns Hopkins. She works in the City (Canary Wharf) as a bonds trader specialising in Eastern European fixed income products. We had a reasonably pleasant conversation. I suggested a second glass of wine, but she declined. Apparently, she usually flakes out on Friday evening as she starts work at 07:30(!). The problem is that she is way out of my league. Not in terms of looks; in both the RA and The Avenue, we were surrounded by woman who looked like extras from Sex and the City (why is it that when you go out with a woman, you always see lots of women who are better looking than your date?), but in terms of aspirations and lifestyle. She asked me if I had a wine cellar. Well, I do have a wine rack. Apparently, she has a cellar or, rather, her wine is cellared for her at a wine merchants. She lives in a flat in South Kensington. Until her bank moved to Canary Wharf, she only had a Zones 1 Travelcard. I was sitting there in the bar of The Avenue in my Paul Smith suit, Paul Smith shirt, Paul Smith tie, Paul Smith shoes, Calvin Klein hipster briefs, let down only buy my Next socks (but they are the lucky ones with hearts that I like)., but the thing was I may have looked the part, but I was a visitor to that world, just passing through, while she belonged here in St James's.

Afterwards, she suggested meeting up again for a drink. It's a possibility, but I can't really see it going anywhere. We're just too different as people. She got a taxi home, probably so to avoid the awkwardness of having to get the tube with me. The thing is the cost of taxis adds up! I was quite glad that she had got a taxi. Where was the nearest Tesco Metro? I wondered. I hadn't got anything in the freezer that I fancied eating. Oh for location-based services! But by a stroke of luck, there is now an M&S Simply Food next to Green Park tube, where the Smart garage used to be (the Mercedes garage is now a SAAB one). I bought a chilli wedges and a rather nice bottle of Australian Cabernet Merlot (I definitely needed another drink).

Overall, I'd say 6.5-7/10 as an reintroduction to the world of dating. E seemed a perfectly pleasant person. I'm just not sure she is quite what I'm looking for. Well, height-wise, yes, she is. I do prefer petite women. I just don't think we have enough in common. I might give her a text. But dating is a number games. I just wish there was some way of biasing the odds more in my favour. Still, a gentle way back into dating. You've got to be the game to win.